Sunday, September 12, 2010

Not A Great Month!!!!

So I am officially broken!
The hope that femara would be a fresh start with different results is now gone. The femara did nothing but provide me 1 follicle (that I develop on my own, without meds) and another cyst (yay). I think the most frustrating fact for me is that I have stopped ovulating, which has never been an issue.
After a month of temping and opks......nothing.....absolutely nothing!!!!!
First ultrasound showed a "perfect follicle" 1-2 days away from releasing and a week later after my cyst ruptured that same "perfect follicle" was still there, holding on for dear life. And nothing still.
Its not a great sign when your OB tells you that you are way out of her league and its time to go back to the RE.

Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".  well that's me.

For the first time I am accepting the fact that there is a very good chance I will not get pregnant with out IVF. I am not sure how I feel about this, I went into this saying I never would do IVF. I had the mentality that if I couldn't get pregnant then that must mean that God had different plans for us, maybe were meant to adopt, or foster or just not have children.
I also first went into this not EVER thinking that it would come down to this, to this decision. And now that I am here its all too clear to me that I am not ready to give up hope on out own biological child.

4 comments:

  1. I can relate to this completely! I too had said initially if we could only conceive through IVF than we wouldn't do it, we'd adopt instead, but just as you said when we were told our only option for conceiving a child of our own was through IVF/ICSI we changed our minds. If it's one thing I've learned through this process you really don't know how you'll react until put into a situation, it's so hard to know until you're really hit with the emotions and reality of those situations. Wishing you guys the best of luck as you begin this next step in your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AWWW honey, just another bump in a very long, lonely road. You will have a child one way or another! Remember...look at me and all I went through.

    Chin up girlie!!! big, big hugs from me and little man too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey thought you could use a laugh... pop on over to:

    http://worldofwinks.wordpress.com/you-might-be-an-infertile-if/

    I know it will make you smile. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Mrs. Wood! I just wanted to pop in and say hi and see how you are doing. I was grounded for a cyst last month and it was devastating. I hope that you are had a nice holiday! Take care - Foxy

    ReplyDelete