Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Here we go again.......

Well it's been awhile since my last post, I had been trying to take advantage of every last second of our "break".

My husband and I went on a wonderful trip to Disneyland and I actually had a week off of work, which was more then deserved. I recently went to my OB in preparation of TTC again, and follow up blood work and ultrasounds all came back normal (or should I say normal for me). Doc feels strongly that clomid will not work for me and I am starting femera next cycle. I know very little about this drug and having been hitting up a lot of blogs and forums lately looking for info.

Oh yeah, and I decided to be sneaky and took my clomid this past cycle with out telling anyone (not even my husband or Dr) hehe. I am sorry, but come on now, It was actually nice to feel excited about TX again (I started my clomid before my Dr informed me that she didn't believe it would work, o-well). So yeah, I took it this past cycle and was on vacation during the best baby making time.... We will see... I have NO expectations for this cycle, but remain very hopeful for the femera.

I again feel like a person, not someone who's life revolves around OPKS and bedding schedules. It is nice to reconnect with my husband, friends, and family that I had pushed away when I had gotten so engrossed in my own thoughts and feelings. My biggest fear from this point forward is that I will lose myself again.... It happened so easily the first time I hadn't realized it had even happened until I stepped back from it all, which only happened due to a personal breakdown that was a long time coming. I pray that I keep my balance this time. There must be some happy median between me and infertility insanity! My goal is to find that fine line and to walk it, like my life depends on it!